Saturday, March 17, 2007

Invisible Nipple Tweeking

I wish to explore the phenomenon of invisible nipple tweaking.
I was first made aware of this whilst watching women's' football.
Now in the mans' game we are used to seeing the men tug and pull at each others clothing. This goes by the name of 'marking'.
When marking an opponent one should grab a large handful of his shirt/shorts and hold on tight to prevent his ease of movement. The crime goes largely unpunished by referees but does give rise to some gloriously exaggerated diving and falling and writhing on the ground by victims who themselves have probably had a large handful of their opponents clothing in their grasp. This I submit is rather girly behaviour.
Now turning to the women I, as must seem obvious, watch women's' football from time to time and I have always been impressed by how the women tend to play the game within the rules. Fouls in women's' football do occur of course but, less so than in the men's' game.
However, what women do do to their opponents at free kicks, corners etc. is, whilst marking an opponent, to violently tug on their opponents nipples. This is evidenced not by obvious tugging movements on the part of the perpetrator but by the subliminal blank expressionless faces. The tugger is of course also being tugged as well.
How is this achieved? By thought transfer of course. Women are much accomplished at this and I would suggest that the thought processes are similar as when two women meet and exchange greetings and pleasantries like, "what a lovely dress you're wearing" or, "that's a lovely perfume you have on". These expressions can be loosely translated as; "dressed like a slapper I see" and, "the douche ain't working babe".
If anyone wishes to throw further light on this intriguing feminine talent, then please leave an appropriate comment.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, I now see why you wanted me to come over, LOL!

Personally, I more prefer men's company to women's. I think we women do a great disservice to each other by all of the cattiness and gossip we do. Men aren't so much like that. Maybe that's why you don't see so much fouling in women's soccer. We're more verbal.

Now I'll pass on the nipple pinching. I have never ever wanted to touch another women's breasts anyways, (much preferring a man's honed, muscled physique) so I have no idea what to say to dat! :)

Anonymous said...

I wanted to add too, Bob, that I wished the press over there (UK) focused as much attention on your women's "football" teams as those overexposed, slutty, and totally useless "WAGs".

thegianthogweed said...

LH, I reckon the sister was a cross-dresser. Am dat close??

Viz your 2nd comment, I agree entirely but UK television is firmly on this type of route-It is a reality tv nightmare in my opinion. How does US telly compare? Is it similar atall?

Anonymous said...

Same here when it comes to women's sports, Bob. But that's okay. I much prefer men's (American) football and baseball.

Also, we have been spared the kind of WAGs y'all are subjected too. A few sports stars have been married to celebrities, but that is about all.

Usually our WAGs are quiet behind the scenes LADIES, wives, and moms. :)

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